Quirky Turkey,  Tales From Turkey

Collective Nouns

Photographs by Mike Vickers

Feature photo above: A piglet of peppers, all with curly tails

I’ve always admired the wonderfully haphazard eccentricity of collective nouns; a parliament of owls, a bike of bees, a nest of rumours, a murmuration of starlings, and one of my very favourites, a rumba of rattlesnakes. I love them all!


Well, here’s a few of my own invention, based on photos I’ve taken of everyday life in and around Fethiye. There may already be well established collective nouns for some of these, but let’s put those to one side for a moment and engage in a little eccentricity of our own.

A Pearly-King of caps, on sale in Fethiye’s Paspatur. 
A Madonna of melons. Remember that nosecone bra she used to wear? By the way, there’s always an odd one out.
An impracticality of nails. Gardening obviously does not register on this very elegant lady’s radar.
A liaison of mannequins. This discreet rendezvous was uncovered in Kalkan.
An ‘aah!’ of toilet pans. Enough said!
An expense of water meters, seen peeping out from foliage in Fethiye old town
A jiggle of bras. Colourfully displayed over-shoulder-boulder-holders at Karaçulha market.
An appreciation of sobas. These were from Elmali, where winter heat is essential.
A bounce of swallows, all chattering together on a very springy reed in the Dalyan delta.
A parabola of satellite dishes, resting in Fethiye before flying on south for the winter.
A restraint of ropes from Göcek. Pick yours to match your maritime decor.
A slurring of gin. The consequences of imbibing so liberally can result in…
…a hallucination of cushions. This cheerful menagerie of surreal animals caught my eye in the Paspatur.
A haemorrhoid of pumpkins. Ouch!
A luminescence of lamps. A veritable Aladdin’s cave in Fethiye.
A metropolis of sesame stalks. Autumnal wigwam city up near Kadikoy.
An avoidance of sheep bottoms – the real reason why the chicken hurriedly crossed the road near Çameli.
And finally, on a topical note, here’s a pandemic of toilet rolls.

First published for Fethiye Times, 20 November 2020

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