Feature Photo above: To be honest, would you work for this employer?
I’m happy to report that the first Linguistic Idiosyncrasies article proved gratifyingly popular and has notched up a respectable number of views over the years. So, encouraged by the interest shown by you, my loyal band of readers, I’ve browsed through my photo archive once more to bring you a fresh batch of entertaining signs and notices, all of which have easily scampered across my own personal ‘tickled me pink’ threshold.
Quite a few of these are Turkish in origin and, as you might possibly suspect, have not quite accurately bridged the gap between languages. Some originate from other European countries and not a few are also from the UK itself, where an element of deliberate mischievousness reflects our national passion for and enjoyment of puns and jokes.
Isn’t the world just a wonderful place…
Seen in a Migros supermarket. This spelling is a bit weird because there is actually a ‘V’ in the Turkish alphabet – but there isn’t a ‘W’. The result goes beyond my powers of understanding.
This van lived on the street around the corner from our house in Fethiye. I could never quite figure out if this was a company name or a simple case of indifference by a service engineer who just couldn’t be pfaffed to turn up!
So long as they’re boiled, all parts of the sheep are used, including the trotiers. D’you know, my computer had never heard of a trotier and became resolutely determined to apply its autocorrect programme, or ‘program’ for those of you living outside of the UK. We got there in the end.
As I’ve already pointed out, all parts of the sheep used. That’s a first.
Occasionally, no words are necessary. There’s not much to do up in the mountains – unless you own a shotgun. However, there are more hairpin bends than you can shake a stick at, helping to alleviate your boredom.
Splat toothpaste. Love it.
Yeah, I’ll have one of those, thank you very much.
Oh, hang on, I’ve changed my mind.
Sometimes, you don’t actually need a sign. This sizeable loaf is topped with a circular simit, a Turkish street-food staple. The advertising principle is sound – this bakery in Fethiye can actually be seen from space.
Another delightful menu mix-up. It’s a curry that’s all soft and fluffy.
Don’t tell Coke, they’ll have a fit at that description! Tat means ‘sweet’ in Turkish, but something entirely different in English.
That’s a very comprehensive list of banned activities. Can you take your sun bed shopping? Why is Crusted food so dangerous? Where can we throw litter? As for the graphic, if the lifeguard actually turned up, would he be clockwork? Does he only leap into action if you pull the cord hanging from his back? There’s so many questions to answer you have no time to go swimming.
Just to prove I can be serious for once, this electronic road sign in rural Iceland gives a concise, accurate and comprehensive indication of the conditions on the road you are about to take, including a live feed video. Essential, life-saving information considering things can go horribly wrong very quickly, even on a lovely warm and sunny day where the temperature is a balmy -15C.
Inevitably, we’re now straying into more dubious territory. Would you eat here? I sincerely hope it’s nothing more serious than a missing ‘tail’. Or maybe ‘cook’. Difficult to tell.
Unsurprisingly, this intriguing combination of suitably named testicular satellite dishes and an erect stove flue caught my attention. I was particularly impressed with the surprisingly lifelike bulbous exhaust fan atop the business end of the pipe.
Er, that’s a bit worrying, especially…
…when you see what’s on the next shelf directly underneath!
No idea what this means. Well I do, but not in this context…
Bonka coffee. Or is it, ‘Let’s have a Bonka, followed by coffee?“
Okay, let’s look at some signs a bit closer to home, starting with one of those British institutions – the garden centre. I’ll bet whoever printed this sign had a right chuckle to themselves.
Never give the public the opportunity to express themselves. I saw this in a DIY store in genteel Ross-On-Wye. I suspect the staff have to rearrange the letters back into alphabetical order on an hourly basis.
This handy gadget detects your motion while you’re still six feet away from the pan. That’s genuinely weird. Did nobody in their sales department raise any concern over the wording? Clearly they did not know that the word ‘motion’ has several meanings in English. I’m not even going to go there!Literally.
I love this. Seen in Cirencester. Wouldn’t it be great if the neighbours lived in Cutlet Cottage.
